As a culture, we have a tendency to define a baseline as a do-this-not-that line in the sand that you then use your willpower to maintain. But we all know by now that willpower doesn’t work. So while it’s tempting to come in guns blazing telling yourself that your baseline will be to forgo carbs every single day, never have cake again, and become a kale person, that’s not the tactic we’re going to suggest you use here.
Instead, we’re going to recommend building your baseline by embracing your current reality and strengths with an acceptance-based approach. When it comes to changing difficult patterns, research shows us that acceptance is more effective than willpower for long-term weight health. This is because acceptance, as a strategy, works with reality. Acceptance is about meeting yourself where you’re at and harnessing what’s already working instead of wrestling with what you’re working toward. Sounds a lot like “mostly good,” right? An acceptance-grounded baseline is simply a baseline built on things that currently come easily for you.
Why does this matter? Because when something is easy, you can feel confident about it—and when you feel confident, staying in control is simple, no matter what life throws your way.
How to create your baseline
As you continue to embrace yourself as a sometimes-triumphant, sometimes-struggling human, start considering a strategy for the toolkit that will become your baseline. Ultimately, you want tools that frame your journey to weight health as an adventure. As you test and consider them, try to steer clear of a deprivation mentality (“I can’t have what I really want”) and instead adopt an exploration mentality (“I wonder what new feelings and experiences I will have when I take these actions”). This is important because deprivation requires willpower, while exploration just needs a willingness to try.
Start by establishing a set of “always” rules. These should be constants that you know you can easily apply, no matter the circumstances. One great example that illustrates how simple they can be is to always have a full glass of water with anything you eat. Sticking to the portions in the Portion Primer is another no-brainer tool. In fact, an easy way to generate a solid list is to go through the habits you’ve learned in the program so far and select the ones you feel you’ve confidently mastered for your list.
Once you’ve come up with some core general habits, try to think of others that really complement who you are and your unique tendencies and challenges. If mindfulness works well for you, for example, you can try something like, “always pause for ten minutes before choosing to eat red foods.” This will be more of an ongoing, iterative process than the above—don’t pressure yourself to have a bunch out of the gate.
Now, take some time to go a bit deeper and define substitute actions for your most vulnerable states. We’ve listed some approach strategies for common circumstances below. Think of each as a category underneath which you’ll list relevant tools that extend beyond your “always.” If there are other categories that feel important to you, include those, too.
After you’ve identified your “always” and “vulnerable state” tools, take a moment to determine what you’ll do if they’re challenged. Friends and loved ones (not to mention strangers) can be pushy when it comes to food, often without realizing that they’re making your life harder. Writing down in advance what you’ll say. For example, some version of “That looks delicious, but I’m not eating that food these days” is a simple but powerful safety lever you can invoke at any time.
Eventually, your new habits will become ingrained, but in the beginning, go easy on yourself when you don’t get it perfect right away—working in the gray area of productive imperfection is the heart of this new skill.